opening every door

I’ve blown the dust and cobwebs off this neglected website to let you know that I have joined…Substack!

Open Every Door will, as the title suggests, be a bricolage of content. A bit of everything. Anything that’s caught my eye, occupied my mind or taken my fancy. Some little life updates or some seasonal recommendations - things I’m reading, listening to, cooking, watching, growing, thinking about. Open Every Door is intended to inspire your own curiosity and creative practices. There might also be the occasional bit of self promotion, if I have anything exciting to share.

And maybe I do…..😉

You’ll also get an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at what it’s like to write, re-write and complete a PhD and (hopefully! Eventually!) publish my second book and first novel. Field notes, or a creator’s log, if you will. Analogue. Digital. All, some or none of the above.

I’m not sure what the future holds for this Squarespace blog. I’ve had it since 2013 and would be loathe to shut it down completely. But I am keen to start the second act of my career. Fresh starts are the best starts, as a friend said to me this week.

So, for the foreseeable, if you’d like to know what I’m up to, please come and join me at Open Every Door!

It would be great to have you there ❤️

heavy in my mind like a ripe pear

“As for my next book, I won’t write it till it has grown heavy in my mind like a ripe pear; pendant, gravid, asking to be cut or it will fall.” - Virginia Woolf

My PhD novel has been growing heavy in my mind for nearly 20 years.

Its shape has shifted, then shifted again. Then again. And then again once more.

I think it’s ready, asking, to be cut now. But if instead it falls from the branch it has clung to for all these years, I hope it lands in a pile of soft dry grass, where it will be safe from the hungry parrots who have been feasting on fruit still on the trees. Where it isn’t left too long to be picked up, still fine to eat, with perhaps only a tiny bruise or two from the fall to be cut away.

Worse case scenario, maybe it will be scooped up with all the other windfalls and be made into a lovely crumble.

I lit my first fire in the house last week. Picked figs, rhubarb, runner beans, iron-rich greens so dark they are almost ink-black. Made yoghurt. Failed at making yoghurt. Wrote and wrote, deleted, despaired, then wrote again.

The pear will be cut, or it will fall.

a mention on Life & Faith podcast!

Having been off it for many years now, I had no idea that Facebook has now been in existence for over 20 years (?!). This anniversary prompted the hosts of Life & Faith podcast to have a very interesting chat about the social media age and the impact it has had on our lives. I was very honoured that they discussed my Guardian article! I was also fascinated by another writer they discussed, Andy Crouch, who made this apt comparison:

“You probably have heard that with icebergs, 80% of their mass is underwater, invisible – you just see the little top of the iceberg. And as it turns out, ocean liners – like, cruise liners – 80% of the structure is above the water. And what social media has done is turn all of us from icebergs into ocean liners, where most of our life is on display. The problem is, in your life, you’re going to hit icebergs. You’re going to hit real challenges, real pain, real loss, real suffering, and the testimony of maritime history is when an ocean liner meets an iceberg, the iceberg wins. You actually want to be an iceberg. You want 80% of your life to be hidden, not to be public, not to be visible. ”

— Andy Crouch

It’s well worth a listen, and not just because I get a mention :)

writer at work

Last year, I was the grateful recipient of a Residential Fellowship at the Katharine Susannah Prichard Writer's Centre in Perth, Western Australia. I spent two weeks there last August working on my PhD novel. You can read all about my experience here. You will see I still enjoy using the marathon as a metaphor all these years later. But, I argue, it is most apt. In the months that have elapsed since my return the parallels between the two experiences have amplified. I am definitely at the point in the race where it is, as writer Fiona Kelly McGregor put it in A Novel Idea, “a matter of stamina, of technicalities, and of getting the job done.”

Also, Perth in August is lovely! Balmy warm days, expansive skies and an awesome annual secondhand charity book sale that frankly would be worth flying back for each winter, providing one brought an empty suitcase…which I did not.

pear and blackberry streusel muffins (vegan)

In summer and autumn, one is spoiled for choice with different seasonal fruits to use in baking - but winter?

At the start of June, I bought a large box of the last of the blackberry harvest from a local farm. They have been sitting in the freezer, added to breakfast porridge and weekend crumbles, but I wondered about using them in something else. Pears are also plentiful in the supermarket at the moment, particularly the “Odd Bunch” ones, the imperfect specimens that come into their own in cakes, bakes, crumbles and smoothies.

I decided to try this particular wintry (or autumnal, strictly speaking, I suppose) fruit combination in these muffins and it was an absolute winner! Sharp yet sweet fruit set in a vanilla-heavy batter not unlike birthday cake, topped with an indulgent and moreish streusel mixture. Winter elevenses have never been so tasty!

You can of course use whatever fruit you prefer - any kind of berry, fresh or frozen, would work well in place of the blackberries and you could use apples interchangeably for the pears. You could also use all pear (or apple). You want 230g in total of fruit, whatever combination you end up using.

You could also add nuts to the streusel mix if you like - walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts or pecans would be lovely. Nuts can burn easily, though, so be careful!

Pear and blackberry streusel muffins

Inspired by The Full Helping (I love her recipes!)

Makes 6 jumbo “Texas” muffins, probably 12 regular sized ones

Streusel topping

65g plain flour
50g dark brown sugar
65g cold butter (I use a vegan one called Nuttelex Buttery)
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon or mixed spice (I used a Gewürzhaus blend called Hot Cross Bun Spice, which appears to be only available at Easter) [note: only use 1/2 teaspoon if you prefer a subtler cinnamon flavour]
A pinch of sea salt

Muffins

1.5 cups of frozen (or fresh) blackberries + 1 small pear, peeled and cored (230g fruit in total)
350g plain flour
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1.5 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon bicarb soda
320ml soy milk + juice of half a lemon (or buttermilk if not vegan), combined in a large jug + allowed to sit and coagulate for at least 5 minutes
120ml sunflower or vegetable oil
170g caster or raw sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat your oven to 180 C and line your muffin tin with cases/liners or squares of baking paper you’ve cut to fit.

Blitz all streusel topping ingredients in a food processor using the pulse function until the mixture is combined and resembles breadcrumbs. Scrape out into a bowl and place in the freezer until the muffin mix is ready.

Just to note, the streusel mix makes way more than you need but it doubles as a crumble mixture, so keep it in the freezer for when you next feel like a crumble and you’ll have dessert in an instant. Half the quantities specified if you don’t want leftovers but you’ll probably have to make it by hand, smaller quantities are trickier to do in a food processor, I’ve found (certainly in mine!).

Prep your fruit for the muffins - peel, core and chop the pear into small pieces and measure out the blackberries. Set aside.

Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl.

In the large jug where you’ve measured out your soy milk and lemon juice (or buttermilk if you’re not worried about this being dairy free), you should have a slightly thick and lumpy milk now. Use a small whisk to bring it all together, and then add the oil, sugar and vanilla. Whisk well to combine.

Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and add the contents of the jug. Mix it together very gently with a spatula until just combined - Delia Smith recommends doing it in a slow figure of eight and this is what I usually do. It’s fine if there are a few small lumps but you don’t want to over-mix otherwise the muffins will be tough, and who wants that?

When the mixture is nearly combined, add the fruit to the bowl and gently fold it in.

A hilarious moment from Schitt’s Creek which ensured I will never be able to say “fold it in” with a straight face ever again! | Source

Once everything is combined, divide the mixture between the muffin containers - I use my favourite giant Texas style pan which yields six muffins.

Sprinkle as much or as little as you like of the streusel mixture on top of each one - I erred on the side of generous.

Bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes depending on the size of your muffins - mine took 30 minutes for a skewer to come out clean. Start checking at around 20 minutes is usually my advice, depending on how hot your oven runs. You can always put them back in for a few minutes, but scorched muffins are a sorry sight indeed!

Allow to cool - they were great warm but I enjoyed them even more a day or two later when they were firmer. Keep them in a container and I’ve found they last very well, over a week - but at that stage, they benefit from a quick warm up in the oven or microwave.

Savour them with a cup of steaming tea or coffee, and revel in the many consolations of winter.