The Van Diemen History Prize 2022-23

I have some rather brilliant news to share - I am the joint winner (with Assoc Prof Terry Mulhern of the University of Melbourne) of the Van Diemen History Writing Prize 2022-23!

My essay, “Anatomy of a Scandal: A Love Triangle in 1820s Hobart Town”, which details the event and people at the centre of my PhD project, will be published in an anthology of Tasmanian history writing in mid-2023.

I have to make special mention of John, a reader in Queensland, who sparked this whole thing - he read an article of mine in a family history magazine and was under the impression that my PhD novel was already finished (not even close!!) and published (dreaming!), and he contacted Forty South to enquire, as they are Tasmania’s leading independent publisher. They rang me (well, they rang Tom because he was connected to them through his work, #Hobart!) to let me know there had been some interest. “You should enter our history writing prize,” they suggested when I told them what I was working on.

Ten months later, here we are. I never in a million years thought I would win - I was just happy that I wrote something I was pleased with and made the deadline. Just entering felt like a win, to be honest. All I wanted out of this year, as I’ve written previously, was to stop letting my inner critic run the show and just try. To put my hat in the ring and start playing in the arena where I feel my true work is. Without the constant distractions, comparisons and time suck of social media, I had no excuses, only myself getting in my own way. And I was determined to get out of it.

But more than that, there is a special kind of momentum within this project, that I’ve never had on anything I’ve worked on before. The response I get from people when I tell them about the novel, and the central characters and incidents that I wrote about in my Van Diemen essay, is always enthusiastic and curious. I can’t wait to see what happens next with it…and actually finish it, of course.

Thank you Forty South for this great honour. To have such wonderful recognition at this stage of the project (I liken it to Mile 16 of the marathon, there’s still quite a way to go!) has been incredible, humbling and deeply encouraging, and my gratitude for this support and validation of my work is truly boundless.

this week

Tug of war with a very cute golden retriever!

Well, even with an alteration to my publishing schedule, I’m still a day late with my This Week post because this weekend just gone involved back-to-back social engagements which I don’t think has happened since…early 2020?! It felt like our first “normal” weekend in a very long time which was very strange (and tiring) but also lots and lots of fun.

Tom snapped the picture above on Saturday as we took a dear friend out for her 40th birthday and then had sunset drinks back at hers with her adorable dog, which made both Tom and I want one of our own very much. There might be a visit to the Hobart Dog’s Home very soon.

Much like last week, this one passed in a blur of work, deadlines and trying to dress appropriately for the weather, and not always succeeding. Not that I’m complaining about those beautiful late winter days that Hobart does so well, where the sky is so clear and blue it’s like glass, the sun is out but the air is still cool, and the gardens are a riot of pink, white and yellow blossoms. They are golden days, indeed.

Favourite experience/s of the week

Apart from spending time with friends and family, it would have to be printing out a full draft of my PhD novel, having literally cut and pasted and reorganised it into its relevant sections so I know where the gaps are, and feeling very excited that I might have hit on its title, at long last. Tom took a picture of me to mark the occasion!

There were many long days with the book this past week, days where I wrote 500 words but then deleted another 2000, which can be very disheartening. But the draft is slowly taking shape. It’s difficult but ultimately very satisfying work.

Reading

I finished an ARC of Cat Lady by Dawn O’Porter (coming out in October) which was, like all Dawn’s novels, compelling and hilarious but also perilously on the edge of disturbing in places. This novel is a really interesting deconstruction of the “cat lady” stereotype (and other stereotypes too) as well as an exploration of mental health, grief, trauma and abuse of power, as well as the powerful love and bond one can have with animals who, let’s face it, tend to love a bit more unconditionally than humans do. I really enjoyed it but did find myself absolutely cringing at one point, wondering how far Dawn was going to go with it! I do admire authors who are braver than I ever would be!

I also started reading a memoir, My Own Devices by Dessa, which I ordered from the US, and am adoring it so far. Deeply intelligent and thoughtful writing about life as a working musician as well as a woman who is curious about her parents, her upbringing, science, psychology, heartache, the search for happiness as well as the search for what is real. I believe she has a podcast too so I’ll be seeking that out!

Plus the usual PhD reading - my favourite was Spontaneous Particulars: The Telepathy of Archives by poet Susan Howe, which was a stunning exploration of what it is like to work with archives, how these dusty folders and piles of papers are in fact alive, full of stories and mysteries. She also captures the surprises, the chance encounters, and the occasional shocks one can have when working with an archive. It was a real inspiration for my exegetical work.

Amy Letter: Quitting Social Media Part One and Part Two - I recently discovered Amy and her work, and these posts on quitting social media were, I’m sure you won’t be surprised, deeply relevant and resonant for me!

Listening to

Inspired by my reading, I’ve been listening to a lot of Dessa and Amanda Palmer, as well as my usual writing and running music. Perhaps the musicians I’ve been drawn to this past week are also reflective of the fact that I’ve reached a point in my manuscript where my main character is - inasmuch as she could in 1820s Hobart Town - fighting back against prejudice and oppressive stereotypes and expectations, attempting to contextualise and give a voice to her pain and trauma. Reading Dessa’s memoir has made her music more meaningful for me, and I particularly identify with her saying that her work seems to have recurring themes, a persistent thread of sadness and heartache. I have found the same with my own body of work. I had thought after writing The Latte Years that I might be done with its themes, but no - they appear persistently in everything I write. I too seem destined to keep striking the same bell and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I write to work through things, to understand and process them. Things I know so many other women have grappled with too - even women who lived 200 years ago. I think that’s one of my main drivers for my current novel, that a story of female resilience from colonial Australia can have so much resonance for women now…well, it certainly does for me.

Best Friend Therapy: Divorce - is it failure or evolution? How does it affect wider relationships? Is there a way to divorce well? I always enjoy this podcast and have listened to some episodes many times over, but this was probably the least resonant episode for me so far. I found that surprising, as I expected to relate hard to the subject matter but instead found it was all stuff I had dealt with a long time ago and didn’t feel the need to rake over again. Which is definitely a good thing! Listening to this episode made me feel very grateful, and not for the first time, that if getting divorced was a life experience I was always destined to have, that it happened to me in my twenties. It was painful enough when the whole relationship had been relatively short; from what I can tell it’s even harder when you’ve been together for decades and have all of the collateral that a shared life of that length entails. The emotional pain of a marriage breakdown, even when you know it’s for the best, is not something I’d wish on anyone but I hope that the stories I’ve shared over the years prove that you can thrive on the other side of it.

The First Time: Kate and Katherine catch up + featured book, Denizen by James McKenzie Watson I always enjoy this podcast and now that I’m not on social media anymore, I like to listen to their catch-up episodes as well to find out what these two very interesting and lovely-sounding writers get up to and are inspired by.

WILD with Sarah Wilson: Mark O’Connell, meet the apocalypse preppers - far out, this was an eye-opener! I found the discussion about how the world’s super-rich are buying up land in New Zealand to escape the apocalypse could be viewed as a second wave of colonialism very, very interesting and noted many parallels with what I’ve observed happening in Tasmania since the start of the pandemic.

Wellness Unpacked with Ella Mills (formerly the Deliciously Ella podcast): How to change habits, taking life off hold and mindful eating with Shahroo Izadi - I loved this interview. Shahroo is fantastic - her first interview with Ella a few years ago was one of my favourites of the earlier seasons and she’s yet again right on the money with her observations and advice. Really inspiring and a great listen.

Eating

Gosh, this is always a long section isn’t it? How un-shocking! Once more, it was a case of cooking up on Sunday and eating the results for most of the week though there were a few surprises in there too. No baking this week, though I had plenty of last week’s lime and ginger cake and the week before’s vegan gingerbread to nibble at. I’ve been reading a wonderful vegan baking book and am keen to try a few of the recipes.

Friday’s lunch - vegetables, chickpeas and noodles which tasted so incredible!

Sunday: Minestrone soup

Monday: We had our friend Jack over for dinner and I made a couple of vegan curries - a simple potato one and a dal makhani (based on Dishoom’s recipe for their house black dal, though to be honest I mostly looked at the back of the packet of dal makhani spices I bought from a specialist spice shop in Moonah!), which we had with rice, spicy apple chutney I made last autumn and flatbreads. It was quite a feast! I can’t believe I didn’t take any photos…but that’s what being off social media does to you, haha!

Tuesday: Tofu fried rice (to use up the leftover rice)

Wednesday: Potato curry

Thursday: Gnocchi with pesto, rocket and aged walnut cheese that all needed using up - delicious!

Friday: Broccoli miso pasta (OMG this was amazing and I will totally be writing up the recipe)

Broccoli miso pasta. So divinely creamy and indulgent, I found it hard to believe it was vegan!

Saturday: Homemade pizza - which we hadn’t had in SO long and I am definitely bringing back!

Lunch out at Frogmore Creek on Saturday. Arancini balls - but the apple and fennel salad in the middle was the real star of the show!

Sunday: Leftover homemade pizza!

But I was most impressed with lunches this week as well - particularly Friday’s where, craving something green and wholesome, I cooked some green vegetables with a can of chickpeas, added them to some rice vermicelli noodles, dressed the whole lot with soy and chilli, and scattered the top with pumpkin seeds. So nourishing and delicious!

We also had a lovely meal out on Saturday at Frogmore Creek, a winery about half an hour away, one of our favourite places.

Drinking

We had some very nice wines on Saturday and I also had some whisky for the first time all year! I felt I couldn’t really get to the end of winter without indulging at least once. I had missed that delicious burn in the throat.

During the day it’s been tea, tea and more tea - chai, Bengal spice, and ginger mostly. Anything warming.

Picking

The usual suspects - celery, chard and perpetual spinach - but this week we noticed the rhubarb is back! I’m not sure if I can pick it to eat this year or whether I have to wait another year (I planted it last year) but it looks very robust and healthy. I’m quite excited for spring planting now - just need to dig some more compost in and my beds will be good to go.

Watching

The usual suspects, though we’re now on to The Thick of It as well as our current favourites. We haven't quite had the headspace for films (well, I’m speaking for myself here - Tom always has the headspace for films!) of an evening after the long days we’ve had, so something hilarious has been just the ticket.

Wearing

My coat, scarf and hat for half the week, and then not!

A gorgeous comfy red floral dress I bought from Seasalt Cornwall, my favourite UK clothing brand, when we were there a few months ago. I can’t find a link to it, it would appear the seasons have definitely changed now!

Grateful for

My husband, my family, caring friends, my good health - the usual suspects!

Quote of the week

“No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.” - Virginia Woolf

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re also finding things to savour and ponder, that give you joy and nourishment xx

where two roads diverged: the latte years hobart launch

The Hobart launch of The Latte Years a few months ago was not unlike a wedding - gathering in great excitement with my parents and siblings at the family home beforehand, with sparkling wine and hair and makeup preparations; a fancy car to take us right to the door; getting my photo snapped the minute I alighted outside Fullers Bookshop; speeches; even a CAKE (!); but most of all, seeing the faces of so many people I love and knowing they were all there to celebrate something very special.

Also like a wedding, it's amazing how suddenly you get so incredibly nervous, knowing that everyone's there because of you! 

But it was wonderful, utterly wonderful, in every way. Like my wedding day, I'd do it all again tomorrow and wouldn't change a thing.

An aside: towards the end of 2004, as it began occurring to me that I needed to start at least trying to extricate the shit out of the blades of the fan that was my life, I joined a T.S Eliot appreciation group that met once a week at Fullers Bookshop in Collins Street, Hobart. I was the youngest person in the group, by about a quarter of a century, but I loved it. Our leader was passionate and inspiring, and it was rocket fuel for my brain that had been lying dormant since graduating from uni two years before. The discussions always ended in the Afterword Cafe, where we were given coffees and slivers of fudge. So to say it was surreal, just over 11 years later, to be back there launching my own book, is something of an understatement! 

If you've ever been to Fullers, you'll know what an oasis it is. It's one of the world's loveliest bookshops, warm and comforting like a favourite relative's house, and smells like two of my most favourite things in the world - books and coffee.  It was amazing to be there, and to see my book everywhere I looked!

My friend and one of my most favourite writers of all time (if you haven't read Mothers Grimm, go and get it now, it's amazing!), Danielle Wood, officially launched The Latte Years. She began by reading a poem very dear to my heart, Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken", and these are a few of the very kind words that followed:

“Phil’s story is not really so much about health, fitness and body issues, but about a journey every single one of us will understand - the journey to being the very best version of ourselves that we can possibly be. ”

“...we are, every single day of our lives, every single moment, confronted by diverging paths. The choice of what to do, what to say, what to think....with each tiny choice, we are forging our character. And that’s what The Latte Years is really all about.

..it’s not a matter of choosing the steep, difficult and challenging path once. As Phil tells us in The Latte Years, you have to keep choosing it. Every single time two roads diverge in a yellow wood. And that will make all the difference.”

And then it was my turn to say a few words and, to be honest, I was quite overcome. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and love, for everyone in the room. A friend had flown over from New Zealand to be there, another from New South Wales, and another still had flown down from Melbourne that day as a surprise, and casually strolled into Fullers with her baby strapped to her back and into my gobsmacked, overjoyed and utterly overwhelmed arms. There were old friends there, some I've known for 30 years or more; family; former classmates, their partners and children; women who taught me in primary and secondary school; and even a handful of readers I had never met but who wanted to come and say hello (and I'm so glad they did!). It felt strange but unbelievably wonderful that this little book I had drafted and redrafted, smiled and cried over, alone in my study on the other side of the world was now out and being read. It was all now real. It had gone beyond a Word file on my Macbook and was now a real book. I was a real author. And I got to celebrate it by returning to where I'd come from, where the story began.  

“Many of you would know that The Latte Years started life as a novel. Fiction is a wonderful vehicle for so many things but in this case, it was a shield. It was a way to distance myself from everything that had happened. I told myself I was trying to make it more universal but in truth it was a way of trying to rewrite the past, to bring everything to more satisfying conclusions than had been reached in real life.

But The Latte Years became the book it was destined to be, and that it needed to be. I had to write this book exactly as it is. Our stories choose us, we don’t choose them.

And the thing about being brave that we’re never told is that it’s not about feeling righteous and invincible, all swords and shields. Being brave is about putting the shield down.

I wrote this book because I knew I couldn’t possibly be the only person in the world who lost their way in their youth and life didn’t turn out as planned. I couldn’t be the only person who went through a divorce in their twenties and had to learn how to heal, trust and love again after heartbreak. I couldn’t be the only one who found out success has a dark side. I couldn’t be the only one who’s had ‘friends’ screw them over. I couldn’t be the only one who has reached a goal, that was once upon a time so out of reach, and then wondered ‘what’s next?’

And it turns out, I’m not. Far from it. The response to The Latte Years has been beyond anything I could have hoped for. I’m so happy that it’s helped so many people, because it’s also helped me. It turns out it was a book even I needed! I needed to remember the strength and power we all have to turn our lives around when we’ve lost our way. I needed to remember how empowering it is to take responsibility for your life and your choices.

Most of all, I needed reminding that the past is the past. I can’t change any of it. And now, I don’t know if I would, even if I could. Because it got me to right here, right now. And I wouldn’t change that for anything.”

And then it was time to drink wine and sign some books. By the time we reached the end of the line, my hand hadn't been that sore since university exams in 2001, but it was totally worth it. I was told I had attracted a bigger crowd than Molly Meldrum! Ha ha.

One of the things I didn't anticipate writing a memoir is how INSANELY FUN it is when so many of your 'characters' show up to your book launch...including Sarah and Dave from Canada!! 

How often do you get a world famous author show up to your book launch?! I was a squealing fan-girl on the inside!

Fullers were amazing - they even did this gorgeous window display which I couldn't get enough pictures of. Occasionally I stood on the pavement and just stared at it (and got curious stares in return!). 

I know it sounds silly but I'm still having moments of OH MY GOD I WROTE A BOOK IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? and I have occasional moments of overwhelming pride and disbelief, when I see a picture of it being read somewhere, or my own copy on my shelf in my study, that I wrote that. It's still all sinking in, like I wrote in my last post.

Thank you again Fullers Bookshop and if you were there that night in Hobart, thank you for being a part of it. It was one of the happiest nights of my life. 

Now how about a (virtual) piece of that amazing cake?