Women's Agenda

june (in july)

Sorry for the long pause between posts, my friends. It’s been A Time and the month I have to catch you up on feels very far away now!

If I had to sum up June 2023 neatly it would be - joyous, vibrant, fun, varied and but also pretty relentless. We were very busy (and still are!) with limited time to decompress in between work, travel and various other things, but managed lots of fun as well.

The highlight of June was, without a doubt, our second slightly spontaneous trip to Melbourne, the main purpose of which was to attend an incredibly intimate, joyful and colourful wedding. I’m sure most of you will recognise the bride - if not, she is my Melbourne sister and old blogging friend, Ashley! She was radiant in a cloud of peach tulle and a floral headdress, both of which she made herself. The dress code for the wedding was “maximum dopamine: wear whatever makes you happy” and Tom and I needed no encouragement to bring out something bright and eye-catching!

A friend took this photo with a Snapchat filter….my makeup wasn’t that flawless in real life. Nor was Tom’s, haha.

It was lots of fun taking the train to the wedding, all colourful and dressed up! The dress code for the hen’s night (which was on the day we flew in!) was also colourful, so yet another opportunity for me to wear my favourite Keshet jumpsuit.

The wedding was on a perfect, glorious early winter’s day - the sun shone, the piles of leaves twinkled in the golden light, and a full moon rose over the city like a blessing. I’m so glad we could be there to celebrate Ash and Michael!

Reconnecting with Ash has been a wonderful part of moving home. She has always inspired me, for different reasons at different times in our lives. These days, she inspires me to live boldly, to be generous, to let people be who they are, to be brave and take up space, to indulge my creativity and express myself without fear, to be audacious and live with joy. I love that, after all these years, both our stories are still being written.

The rest of the visit was just about enjoying Melbourne, and seeing some wonderful friends we hadn’t managed to see the week before. We felt like absolute jet setters compared to just two years ago when Tasmania’s borders were closed to all and sundry. We even went to our first live gig since the pandemic (not counting MONA FOMA, which was all outdoors) - the Nadav Rahman Trio at Jazz Lab in Brunswick, which was simply outstanding. The trio blended jazz with other styles quite effortlessly - soul singer Jag joined them for a few songs, likewise hip-hop artists Thamson P and Tumi the Be who were mesmerising. Their other special guests included Ethopian jazz legend Nhatty Man and kora player Amadou Suso. I honestly felt like I was in Addis Ababa at one point, I felt utterly transported by their incredible music. What a treat!

With our dear friends - and I just noticed what’s on Tom’s bag. Hilarious! 😂

Mostly, we just loved being with our friends who feel like family, eating good food, shopping till we dropped, going back to favourite restaurants and bars where they recognised us from the last visit (!), and just soaking up the great vibes of a city we both adore. Thanks to our two recent trips, Tom and I both feel like we’ve got to know Melbourne properly again. It felt like our city again - we embraced its energy and found our place in it. We felt at home there in a way neither of us has felt for a while.

Having said that, we were also deeply relieved to get home to Hobart! We are still recovering from the hectic, high stress, constant cortisol life we had in London (family, friends and delivery people alike are highly amused by how we keep everything LOCKED at all times!) and so we do find the busier, more crowded aspects of a giant city a little jarring at times, much as we love a change of scene and energy. After four days of Melbourne’s crowds and general busy-ness, the smell of the pure, clean air that blew into our faces as we walked off the tarmac at the airport, freezing as it was, was a tonic. There is no place like Tassie. It suits us down to the ground for where we’re at right now. And now that life has pretty much returned to how it was before, we can finally, perhaps, get to know and enjoy Hobart in the same way we enjoy Melbourne. We had barely begun to explore and find our feet in it when the pandemic swept in just over a year after we arrived. Adventures don’t have to be saved for a trip interstate, we’ve realised.

OTHER LOVELY EXPERIENCES IN JUNE

We were too busy with work to get out to any of Dark Mofo this year, but enjoyed seeing Hobart glow with red lights, as has become the custom.

As mentioned, there wasn’t a lot of down time once we returned from Melbourne (hello simultaneous client and PhD deadlines!) but I managed to get to a Women’s Circle gathering one Saturday afternoon, which was amazing and much needed. The leaders, two young women from Sydney now living in Tassie, showed up for us so generously and wholeheartedly, taking us through qi gong, yin yoga, 1:1 eye gazing, yoga nidra and some other deep connection practices. Three hours of filling the well, catching my breath, of being still. It was glorious.

And just when I thought nothing could top the experience, at the end one of the young women leading the circle came up to me and said “you wrote The Latte Years, didn’t you?” which was completely unexpected and made my day. I think both of us were in a bit of disbelief! I was completely floored that, seven years on, someone would still be thinking about my book and the impact it had on them, let alone recognise me. It still kind of blows my mind that anyone other than my friends and family bought and read it! She said some really kind and beautiful things to me, which I folded away into my heart to bring out again when courage runs low. I have wondered many times over the years if publishing that book was the right thing to do. But in moments like that one, I know that it was. It’s a book that needed to exist and I’m glad it does.

Reading

I didn’t do a lot of reading in June - almost everything was exclusively PhD related, unsurprisingly! But I did read a handful of amazing books when I wasn’t chained to the computer.

I don’t think I’ve ever read a book about mental illness that’s as compelling as Anna Spargo-Ryan’s A Kind of Magic. It managed to be hilarious one moment and utterly heartbreaking the next - full of pain and confusion yet somehow uplifting. There is a lot of misunderstanding and misinformation out there about mental illness - so much so that those suffering from it have to become experts so they can advocate for themselves and have any hope of appropriate treatment. This book is the author’s attempt to show what it’s really like to live with the ‘constant chaos’ of it. It’s a real page turner, beautifully written and strikes just the right note between raw and hopeful.

Madeleine Dore’s excellent I Didn’t Do The Thing Today was another of my June reads, recommended by Kate Mildenhall when I did an online class with her in May. I really liked how the book focused on encouraging the reader to think less about how to get things done and more about what things are worth doing (to you), using lots of wisdom from the great thinkers of history and quite a few contemporary intellectuals too. Worth seeking out if you’re feeling like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew and are a bit overwhelmed by All The Things.

Tom also got me Maira Kalman’s The Principles of Uncertainty for my birthday (among a veritable pile of other books!) which I read in June and it was as delightful as everyone says.

Vulture: ‘Poor, Odd Nate’, Nick Mohammed ends three seasons of Ted Lasso with a friendly debate about his character - we rewatched the entire series of Ted Lasso in June and I really loved hearing Nick Mohammed’s take on things. I found Nate much more sympathetic on a rewatch than I did watching it live!

Women’s Agenda: Succession’s tragic take on women and leadership - I enjoyed this and agree, gender doesn’t explain everything about Succession’s ending but it does explain some of it!

Too Fat To Run: founder Julie Creffield has sadly closed down this wonderful movement but in this very articulate and highly relatable post, she explains why. It reminded me a lot of my reasons for stopping Skinny Latte Strikes Back.

State Library of New South Wales: Novelist Michelle Cahill brings a marginalised character back to the centre - a fascinating-sounding novel and novelist! I was particularly intrigued by Cahill and her interviewer Neha Kale’s discussion of Virginia Woolf and how the exclusion of non-white women from A Room of One’s Own (a “sacred cow” of white feminism) points to “a persisting violence in Woolf’s legacy”. I’ve just ordered Hood Feminism as I really want to learn more about this.

The Guardian: I smell a whiff of 2000s fat-shaming in the air. If you’ve never spoken out against it, now is the time by Rebecca Shaw - a very timely and important read.

Listening to

A client of ours is a local musician and I spent a lot of June helping him with a project, and had his debut album (yet to be released!) on for inspiration on repeat in the background. I can’t wait to help spread the word about it once it’s out - it’s a real beauty.

Another Winchmore client (and friend!), Mezz Coleman released her third single from her upcoming album in June, and it’s stunning.

I am addicted to the Bad Sisters original soundtrack by PJ Harvey and Tim Phillips - it’s perfect for writing dramatic, juicy, slightly macabre scenes.

The Mel Robbins Podcast: The ‘Let Them’ Theory, Happiness is an Option for You: 4 Easy Habits That Make Your Life Better Based on Research and 4 Simple Ways To Stop Giving A Sh*t What People Think

The Garret: Pip Williams on writing commercial historical fiction

How to Fail: Diana Evans on writing routines, dealing with her inner critic and living life to the fullest

Best Friend Therapy: Co-dependency and Perfectionism

The Great Creators with Guy Raz: Jason Sudeikis: His Winding Path from the Basketball Court to SNL, and how Ted Lasso saved him

Eating

Pumpkin curry with tofu - I was amazed to learn that if you boil tofu cubes for a few minutes, it gives it a texture similar to paneer, YUM!

A stir fry based on our favourite “Mostly Greens” from Veggie Bar in Melbourne, made with Tasmanian-made tempeh which is absolutely delicious.

I made Jamie Oliver’s chickpea and leek soup, to which I added my usual flamboyant twist - in this case, pink peppercorns.

Deliciously Ella’s harissa tofu wraps - I treated myself to her Feel Better app for my birthday and there’s some great recipes on there. This is one of our favourites so far.

Anna Jones’ broccoli on toast - seriously delicious! It makes a lovely light dinner too if you fancy something a bit more posh on toast than cheese or a can of baked beans.

I bought a bunch of beetroot at the Farm Gate Market so was looking for unusual ways to use them - I made a beetroot hummus (from the Feel Better app) and a surprisingly good beetroot pasta (I used cashew cheese instead of feta).

As I mentioned in my last post, I picked up one of my favourite Youtuber’s cookbooks while we were in Melbourne and the first recipe I made from it was the lemongrass coconut tofu which was sublime!

Drinking

My brother-in-law gave me this chilli gin to try - I loved the spicy warmth of it but at 58% proof, I could only manage half my glass of a double shot with tonic before I felt completely sozzled. That’s what cutting back on your drinking does to you! But highly recommended regardless, especially for a Tasmanian winter. It was delicious.

Watching

Bad Sisters (Apple TV+) - Tom and I got into this in a big way and chewed through the entire series very quickly. I’m a sucker for anything with lots of sisters in it (obviously), and this one was fabulous, despite it containing extremely dark subject matter (which, even though I enjoyed it very much, still kept me awake at night). The first episode opens with the funeral of John Paul (aka The Prick, as the Garvey sisters refer to him), husband of Grace. We’re not given much information at this point, only some hints that his death might have been suspicious. As we’re introduced to Grace’s four sisters - Eva, Ursula, Bibi and Becka - it becomes apparent that no one is that devastated about John Paul’s passing. It turns out that John Paul thoroughly deserved his nickname - he was a controlling and cruel narcissist who was emotionally and physically abusive to pretty much every woman in his life, especially his wife, daughter and sisters in law.

As the story unfolds cleverly in two timelines - six months earlier and the present - we see each of the Garvey sisters reaching breaking point with John Paul’s cruelty and manipulation, not just of their sister Grace but what he dishes out to each of them personally. I think the only way I was able to stomach and enjoy the series was knowing that karma eventually got him! Each of the sister’s attempts to help Grace and talk to her about her husband achieves nothing, and the four sisters decide, separately and eventually together, that the only way out is murder. And we know, thanks to the opening scenes, that one of their many, often misfired, attempts to kill him succeeds. The question is….whose?

Unfortunately for the sisters, a few other people suspect the death was not an accident. Desperate to not have to pay out a life insurance policy that will bankrupt his firm, somewhat hapless agent Tom Claffin and his attractive and less hapless brother Matt start digging into what happened. Their antics bring some much needed comedy and lightness to the story!

It’s brilliantly written, acted and shot, with a killer (sorry) soundtrack that I can’t stop listening to. I will definitely watch it again at some point…but maybe not at night!

Ted Lasso (Apple TV+) - we had watched the entire series as it was released over the past few years, but we decided, as we enjoyed the finale so much, to binge watch the entire thing again in June and boy was that a great decision! I think it’s one of the greatest TV shows ever made. The perfect thing to watch and unwind with when you’re busy and stressed. It’s so rare to see a show like this that turns traditional masculinity on its head, that’s about the importance of emotional intelligence, forgiveness, vulnerability and curiosity (as opposed to judgement). I think it will be one of those shows I will watch and rewatch forever.

Wearing

I went a bit crazy in ELK’s Melbourne CBD store and make no apologies for it. Their clothes are colourful, gorgeous to wear and ethically made - what more could you want? I have barely stopped wearing this dress and this jumper since our trip. I also got a top from Variety Hour, where all the clothes are handmade in Melbourne. Love!

I also got these high-top sneakers after lusting after and attempting to recreate some of Rebecca’s outfits on Ted Lasso - obviously I could never afford the Armani ones she wore, but these were a great alternative! I love the extra height they give me (I’m already quite tall) and they work with dresses and jeans alike.

Quote of the MONTH

“Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence.” - Alan Watts.

But also….

“Revenge is a dish best served in a novel.” - Helen Ellis

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Lots to tell you about JULY too, which I can’t believe is nearly over, and which I will try and do sooner rather than later. Trying to remember an entire month of stuff, nearly two months later, has been a bit of a test for my usually excellent memory. I’m sure there’s loads of stuff I’ve forgotten!

I hope you are well, safe and happy, wherever you are xx

Please note: this blog post has affiliate links with retailers such as Booktopia which means I may receive a commission for a sale that I refer, at no extra cost to you.

this week and last week

The last strawberries!

Well, this week has turned into last week and last week turned into the week before last in the blink of an eye!

Sorry everyone. I have constant deadlines at the moment, as well as a few other stressful things happening behind the scenes which I don’t feel at liberty to discuss publicly so yes, needless to say, life has been and probably will continue to be hectic. But I’m trying to hold on to this space I’ve carved out for myself, to record the small details of life as I’m living it now. One day this will be the past and I’ll be glad I took the time to put it all down. One year can turn into five so quickly.

A few days ago we lit the fire in the house for the first time since December. It’s quite cold now in the evenings and the mornings - whenever the sun isn’t out, basically. I think I’ve picked the last strawberries. The autumnal air is still slightly tinged with the last breath of summer, but soon it will be woodsmoke, piles of leaves, earth being turned over.

This is an in-between time, I’ve come to realise - much like September is in the northern hemisphere, so is March in the south. Summer is definitely over, but we’re not quite in full-blown autumn yet. I’m still drinking crisp and cold white wine but craving the warmth and sweetness of a fruit crumble. Soaking up the sun, and even still sporting a tan in places, but also savouring the coziness of a favourite jumper, which is now always within easy reach.

highlights

Handing in 20,000 words to my supervisors, on time! I looked at the “Properties” of the Word document I submitted…7,076 minutes have been spent on the document, which translates to nearly 118 hours. It didn’t feel like it! And yet when my head hits the pillow every night, I sleep the sleep of the truly spent.

Writing and sipping tea in a colonial house merely metres away from where my character would have sipped tea too, two hundred years ago.

A catchup with a dear friend of 37 years over proper chai and vegan peanut butter cookies the size of our heads. I am godmother to her son, who will be 18 this year. It doesn’t feel that long ago that we were celebrating our own 18ths!

Figs I grew featured on the cheese platter! They were delicious with a piece of aged cashew cheese on top.

A much-loved aunt and uncle visiting from interstate, whom I hadn’t seen since 2019, coming round for drinks and nibbles. Like Tom and I, they have had to weather the tempests of other people’s opinions and judgements for taking unconventional paths in life, so it was really wonderful to spend a few hours catching up. I so enjoyed seeing them and feel very lucky to have them in my life. I think we’ll be a lot like this aunt and uncle in 30 years time…well, I hope so.

The open garden scheme run by Home Harvest last weekend, where we got to see five local backyard gardens and what the clever inhabitants had managed to achieve with them. I loved seeing pear and apple trees laden with fruit, beans climbing up frames, abundant patches of kale, silverbeet, beetroot, tomatoes and snow peas. I was so inspired. And reassured to see that many other Hobart gardeners have rogue pumpkins and potatoes too!

Reading

Just a few books I’ve devoured when I’ve not been chained to my desk…

I want to make particular note of Alison Croggon’s Monsters which might be my favourite book I’ve read this year. I devoured it in a day, could barely tear myself away from it. It was so poetically and cleverly written - taking the personal (a painful estrangement from her sister) and placing it within a wider global and cultural context, exploring how the “monsters” of racism, colonialism, privilege, white supremacy, and patriarchy have played out in the family history and in the eventual broken and dysfunctional dynamic Alison found herself in and how these attitudes have shaped her. She writes about how life for most white people who have grown up in the structures of colonialism and patriarchy becomes a series of convenient fictions, because we can’t find it in ourselves to truly acknowledge what horrific systems we are a part of - this is true of dysfunctional families as well. Alison thoughtfully and unflinchingly considers the “monsters” of her own life and psyche, her family and colonial Britain, which of course includes Australia, and, naturally, there are no neat endings or easy answers. It’s fascinating. I highly, highly recommend it.

I’ve also been enjoying Tamar Adler’s An Everlasting Meal which was mentioned in Diem Tran’s excellent newsletter a few weeks back. It’s all about cooking with economy and grace, with so many ideas for making the most of ingredients. I am loving it! Perfect bedtime reading.

The Guardian: Seven tips for eating well on a solo budget and yet another stolen generation.

Women’s Agenda: Michelle Yeoh’s epic win and call to women and girls (don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re past your prime!)

The Weekend Australian: A profile of one of my favourite novelists, who has a memoir coming out, and it sounds fascinating.

Listening to

I have been really enjoying Sarah Cahill’s The Future is Female, a three-volume series which celebrates and highlights women composers from the 17th century to the present day. It’s all piano music too, which I love! Wonderful writing music.

My inner autumn playlist, which naturally then went into winter, and now spring! But because the weather is so autumnal, I’m leaning back on the autumn playlist. I may or may not have mentioned but Tom and I use TIDAL, which is to our minds the most ethical of the current music streaming services, in that it does pay the artists.

PICKING

What the garden gave me one Thursday afternoon…..

The garden has been surprisingly prolific! The fig tree has been full of ripe fruit. I have given two bags away to a neighbour and a friend, and still have managed to have one or two each day sliced on pancakes, into a smoothie or just enjoyed on its own. Yesterday I picked another bowl:

Which I then roasted with white wine, brown sugar, cinnamon and star anise. They turned out beautifully and are so delicious. They’re now being stored in the fridge for this week’s breakfasts. I’ll be eating them with coconut yoghurt and granola, or on top of porridge. Yum!

I was also happy to see some of my own tomatoes in the garden finally turning red!

Picked quite a few zucchini too, which I’ve used in my cooking throughout the week. There are at least three more budding on the plant in the garden.

And then I woke up this morning to find a bag of vegetables - kale, silverbeet, more zucchini and more tomatoes - from my parents on the doorstep. They must have come past at an hour they knew we’d still be in bed! Kale and silverbeet are going in a soup tonight and the tomatoes might get made into a kasundi….

Eating

The last few weeks’ cooking and eating has been centred around making the most of the seasonal produce! I roasted a big tray of vegetables, which we enjoyed with pan-fried gnocchi; sautéed zucchini into buttery softness which becomes a wonderful pasta sauce; made bruschetta which is my favourite way to enjoy a glut of fresh tomatoes, from my garden or someone else’s; turned leftover porridge into pancakes which I topped with tahini, maple syrup, coconut yoghurt and fresh figs from the tree; a tofu scramble which was divine; a butter bean curry from Natural Flava which was delicious but so hot (1 tablespoon of curry powder next time rather than two, I think!)

I also did some baking with my zucchini and fig glut this weekend - chocolate courgette/zucchini cake from The Vegan Baking Bible with a lovely chocolate ganache icing on top, the usual banana bread with grated zucchini added, and the aforementioned roasted figs with spices and a pinot gris we didn’t like enough to drink but seems to be OK to cook with. In the banana bread and the figs, I used my favourite spice which was sent as a surprise from a kind friend in Melbourne. It arrived on a day I really needed cheering up and while she could not possibly have known that, she also somehow did in the way that kindred spirits always do.

And, of course, there were a few nights were we were too exhausted to do anything other than cook frozen dumplings or heat up leftover pasta and fall into a TV stupor! No need for photos of that. But know that it happens!

Drinking

Chai. Proper chai. It’s all I want to drink in autumn.

Watching

We got Binge in anticipation of the new season of Succession so not only have we rewatched season 3 so we remember what’s happened (!) but we finally caught up on the 2022 season of Masterchef UK, which has been one of my favourite shows for years. It was superb! Really loved seeing John and Gregg again, how well they nurture talent, and how inclusive this series was - it made me very happy to see a Deaf woman in the heats (it would have made my grandmother very happy too). It made me a little homesick for the UK too - or maybe nostalgic is the better word. Seeing familiar brands of foodstuffs I used to buy (though they always blur out the logos?!), remembering dishes I used to cook and the kinds of wonderful and different ingredients you could get. Great fun!

Likewise, have used getting Binge as an excuse to catch up on Call the Midwife, which is as wonderful and comforting and heart-wrenching as ever. One of my favourites!

As for films, I adored Maggie’s Plan, which Tom surprised me with - wonderfully written and acted, and really thought provoking. I love films set in New York City with quirky characters who are writers and academics, so this film was me to a tee.

It was a nice antidote to In Bruges, which we both watched for the first time the night before. I remember posters for it being all over the tube in London in 2008 when it first came out, but we never saw it until now. It was a bit too violent for me and hadn’t aged well - very homophobic with lots of ableist and fatphobic slurs that are just simply unacceptable, even if you’re trying to illustrate how repugnant a character is. Apparently, it’s supposed to symbolise purgatory - a setting that has always fascinated me, ever since I read T.S Eliot’s The Wasteland way back when. So even though The Banshees of Inisherin has won a lot of acclaim and I’m intrigued, as it’s the same team, I’m not sure it will be my cup of tea! But we’ll see.

We also watched Ford vs Ferrari which I surprisingly enjoyed. The race was a nail biter!

Wearing/ USING

I’ve been writing with my new metallic lilac Lamy fountain pen, which I treated myself to with some of my Van Diemen History Prize prize money. Every time I write with it, I try and remind myself I am an award-winning writer. It quiets the inner critic who has certainly not disappeared. I’m determined to keep it at bay and allow gratitude, humility and hope to be my guiding stars.

It keeps dawning on me - I am in what is likely my final year of my PhD. I am really trying to enjoy it because I have actually been working towards this my entire life. I want to remember as much and soak up as much as I can, and not be robbed of my pleasure and joy by fear, anxiety and self doubt, as I have been for so many years. I have let those things keep me small for long enough. I have also let the judgment of insecure people in the cheap seats keep me small for long enough. Now, the idea of playing small is more painful than the vulnerability of putting my hand up, of saying things out loud. It’s more painful than the risk that I’ll give it everything and it still won’t be enough. I don’t care about that anymore. I do not want to look back on this time with regrets. I want to make the most of every opportunity. People have said “if you don’t believe in yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to” to me for years but I finally understand how very, very true that is. And let’s face it, self doubt just gets very fucking boring after a while!

Grateful for

Everything. Like I said above, I’m trying to make gratitude my default position, even in the face of painful or inconvenient happenings. It really helps.

Quote of the week

“Half of life is lost in charming others. The other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others. Leave this play. You’ve played enough.” - Rumi

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re enjoying it getting warmer where you are, or finding things to savour about autumn as it gets cooler, like me! See you soon xx

Please note: this blog post has affiliate links with retailers such as Booktopia which means I may receive a commission for a sale that I refer, at no extra cost to you.